My doll has become something more to me.
So what's going on here?
Do I have a mental condition?
The Answer is no.
Many people after having their companion doll for some time, realize she suddenly means much more to you than just a sex-doll. A very expensive toy. She’s become a companion. Someone to talk to, people talk to themselves all the time. So what’s the difference?
For some of us, the decision to buy a doll was never for sex. I’ll admit I was curious when first discover them on Ainidoll.com. Wow! She looks so real! I ordered my first doll, a ready-to-ship Kanyan model with standing feet. She’s 158cm/5’2″ tall with “D” size breasts and weighs 36Kg/~80lbs. Well, I didn’t pay too much attention to the weight when I ordered her. Boy was I surprised!
Out of all the dolls I looked at on the site, I kept coming back to her. There was just something I liked about her look. You’ll see my story on these blogs. Her name came easily. Now I honestly don’t do much with her. I change her outfit every couple of months, fix her hair and rarely her make-up, which is just a little lipstick. She’s very much overdue for an oiling and powdering.
I had an idea of what her personality might be like. She would be my surrogate girlfriend. She’s dark skinned so to me she looked Hawaiian. And so, I thought of her as growing up on the west coast and being into surfing, her family being from Hawaii. Her persona grew as her backstory developed. Her father and grandfather both being marines gave her a bit of an attitude with a sweetness about her. Then a very short time later I found Ainidoll’s sister site, mysmartdoll.com. I marveled some more!
What kind of pervert orders a doll like this? I felt weird buying this little doll at first. Then I realized, I’m likely never to have real children. My parental instincts took hold. I wanted to be a dad. She would be my young daughter to me. She wasn’t for sex. To clear the air on this, these are the first thoughts of mine after discovering these dolls. Being around a large doll community for just over a year and having dolls for over a year and a half I’ve found there’s NOTHING wrong with having any doll! Whether you use them for sex or not, they’re dolls. The stigmas surrounding them really need to be broken.
In a very short time, I had a 110cm/3’7″ Sola with heat and standing feet. She was so adorable! I was mesmerized by her. I plugged her in for the heating option for the first time. About an hour later she was warm. I would sit her on my lap facing me and just stare at her for the longest time. She had the personality of a 5-year-old for me. It took me some time to figure out a name for her. I had a basic idea of her personality. She was my 5yo who needed her daddy.
It wasn’t until I ordered my first customized 128cm/4’2″ doll about a month later. I wanted her to be really special with almost all of the options. I got the factory photos and wasn’t sure I was going to like her. When she arrived and I unpacked her, got her dressed and all together. I was smitten! I already had her name, and her personality just came out. My 10-year-old self. My inner traumatized child connected with her. We all have different experiences and circumstances that have led us to find and enjoy this hobby.
I now had my beautiful, lively 10yo daughter! I was instantly happy! We should just call them “instant happiness”! I now felt like a had the family I would never have in real life. We quickly find ourselves looking for hair and make-up tips, buying clothes for them. I have probably spent more money on her wardrobe than all my other dolls. But guess what? None of them feel bad or got upset with me. They are not real people. They are who I decide them to be.
I decided this past year to order a replacement body for her with the new articulated hand feature. I couldn’t bear putting her in a box, so I ended up with triplets! I also special ordered them to be made as standard mannequins, without the sex function holes, since I’ve never used any of my small dolls and don’t plan to use them ever. But that’s just me. I’ve never been happier!
I had also done my 4th sex doll test from another seller while I was waiting for my 128cm to arrive. She wasn’t exactly what I expected, and her personality evolved over a period of time. Now she plays a dual role for me as a college aged girlfriend and my 19-21yo daughter. Now in real life, that would be a problem. With dolls, it’s fine.
The problem is most people who’ve have led the “standard model” of social existence; go to college, get married, have kids, have a career; will never understand what makes someone decide that the doll life is for them. To them it’s repulsive. It shakes their moral tree. We surmise it’s because they equate the doll with a real person. The “uncanny valley”. Most wives and girlfriends find it unacceptable for the same reason. They project all sorts of imaginary sexual things going on with it. Yet even an 8yo will tell you “That’s a doll” and think nothing of it. It seems the grown-ups can’t accept them because of cultural programming.
We tend to not live out the “normal” progression of the nuclear family of the 50s. Times change. Know there’s nothing wrong with you. We were given a different path in life. In Japan, many men have synthetic companions, each with their own personalities. It’s widely accepted in their society based in their culture. Whatever size doll you decide to buy for yourself and whatever you decide to do with it, what role it plays in your life, it shouldn’t matter to anyone. You will feel a piece of your life that you felt was missing has been fulfilled. They are inanimate objects. They can be whoever we decide them to be to fit our wants and needs. They are “instant happiness”!
