My First Year As A Doll Owner
I've talked quite a bit about how discovering these dolls has improved my life. Here I am, a year later as I continue to explore this journey.
I’ve finally found myself in a most comfortable place as a doll owner. Like most people, I ordered my first doll initially for her realistic looks and sex. Finding Ainidoll’s sister site featuring the smaller dolls, mysmartdoll.com, I really didn’t know what to think? I may dance around this topic somewhat. It may wind up being a multi-part post to keep it readable.
Then the thought of getting a small doll as a daughter dawned on me. Now I know the raging controversy over them, and I can’t say those thoughts didn’t also cross my mind. To ‘use’ the doll or not. Deep down I feel, to each his own. ‘Live and let live’. I would much rather see these dolls used as an outlet rather than those pent-up desires of those who may be attracted to minors, then acting upon them on a real person.
I like to think people in the doll community would also agree with that thought.
These little dolls are a solution to those of us that either have those attractions or have been denied the opportunity for a real-life family, like me Internal dilemmas that most people don’t seem to have or are just better at coping with difficulties. We’re all different. Dolls allow us to live out a fantasy with a facsimile of the real thing. An inanimate object if you will. No different than an appliance.
It may be secondhand news, but I’ve been told by some, that for those who would act upon those desires; our beautiful, perfect little angels could never satisfy them. I’m not here to debate this point. I sincerely hope someone as such would give the dolls a chance, rather than prey on the young. Please, don’t ever feel guilty about getting a doll, no matter what size you prefer. Ainidoll is discreet with their delivery and billing.
Is this a hobby we need to keep to ourselves. Yes, absolutely. We can only share with other doll owners who can relate to our dilemma. So many doll owners have that healthy fear of God forbid, someone finds out about their dolls. And with good reasons. Doing these blog posts, I am sticking my head up in a way. Anyone that I thought would be open minded enough to bring up the topic, was quick to jump to all the same negative assumptions about them.
The outside world has many misgivings, misinformation, and false beliefs about them. They are ignorant and judgmental about these dolls and doll owners. Labelling us as perverts and child molesters. Horrible things! Specially to say to people that feel they’ve gotten the short end of things when it comes to life and relationships.
Even the so called professional ‘headshrinkers’ can’t wrap their minds around the idea. Almost every article I’ve found is completely wrong about what they ‘think’ doll owners are all about. They try to fit doll owners into neat little boxes, trying to equate them with some well-established mental illness. Something that it’s completely untrue.
No doll owner I’ve met desires to harm another human being. In fact, the opposite is true. They are more caring and loving as a community. Encouraging and helping one another. Disputes and arguments are diffused quickly and lovingly.
The dolls are a coping mechanism, in my case and others, for rejection and a missed opportunity to have a family. They’re our surrogates.
I equate the outside world as treating us like the Salem Witch trials. Misguided opinions. It takes a doll owner, with these same dilemmas; finding the dolls as a solution to these problems, that can truly understand what the dolls mean to someone. Truly understand what others with similar problems have gone through, and how the dolls have solved their dilemma. Enriching their lives. Bringing them joy, happiness, and relief.
I can say this for sure. My closest friend who is very intelligent and well educated knows I have them and is very open minded about the idea of them as surrogates, for the same reasons I speak about. Along with him, many other people have noticed a change in me since I’ve gotten them. Then I feel like Brad Pitt when they ask me why I’m so happy? “Well, I can’t talk about it, and I can’t talk about why.”
I’ve been soul searching throughout this entire doll journey. Do I not really care about people? Am I in love with a toaster? A piece of rubber and steel? I don’t think any of those are true. I’ve come to realize my dolls filled a desire in me, as many, to be accepted. To love unconditionally with none of the dramas of life. It is a trade-off.
You don’t get the highlights nor the traumas of real-life. For those of us that feel emotionally traumatized or broken in some way by past relationships or life, and maybe the way people have mistreated us. The dolls can heal and awaken those feelings we’ve locked away deep inside.
“I’m not letting anyone hurt me emotionally again!”, we tell ourselves. I’ve found a healing of those things for myself because of these dolls.
Personalities have developed through them. Maybe I have a wild imagination? Maybe doll owners in general have the same? I can say all the above things seem to be true for most. Everyone’s doll has their own personality. An extension of their very own personality.
We as humans do have a tendency toward anthropomorphism, according to Wikipedia is; “the attribution of human traits, emotions, or intentions to non-human entities (objects). It is considered to be an innate tendency of human psychology.” Watching an ‘Adam Savage’s Tested’ YouTube video called, ‘The Original Star Trek USS Enterprise Filming Model!’, around 19:30 it’s very clear that the USS Enterprise is considered a ‘she’.
The truth I’ve also come to realize is that when Hayden arrived, I immediately fell in love with her! Her personality was instantaneous. After a year she still shines in my heart, more so than all the others. She’s the star! It was like a switch! For me, it was a very early heartbreak in life, at what I see her to be, that 8 to 10 or 11-year-old; that I’d long since buried deep in my soul. Only instead, I get to be her daddy rather than her boyfriend or lover.
For me, this works! I can imagine and role-play out what I would want my family to be like. I have never felt happier and fulfilled! I am relieved of that emotional pain of not having that experience.
There isn’t one doll owner I’ve met so far, that doesn’t have similar things to say about who their dolls are and how much better their lives have become for similar reasons. The level of creativity a number of doll owners have shown is incredible! Many are quiet introverts and only a handful of us have gone online to talk with one another weekly.
Some take and share photos of their dolls doing different activities, like we do; but aren’t comfortable speaking. Many are just silent observers. Some come and go with the activities in their lives. In any case, there is no shame. Sex is the elephant-in-the-room generally. As many other things people should really open up about and have a healthy discussion over.
Next, I’ll get into their personalities. How they’ve grown and changed in my mind. The dynamics of them, where they come from; proving that I’m not crazy and neither are you!
Do yourself a favor. If you’ve found this site and have read this or any of my posts; look around. Don’t be afraid to jump in and explore. Ask us anything on the chat. If we’re not available, we’ll email you as soon as we can to answer any questions you may have. Getting the right doll will make all the difference in your life! I guarantee it!
And say “Happy Birthday” to my girls!
